The Pentagon is officially drawing up plans to punish NATO countries that refused to help the United States during the Iran conflict. And by “punish,” we don’t mean a sternly worded letter from the ambassador. We’re talking about kicking countries out of the alliance entirely, starting with Spain.

About time somebody told these freeloaders the bar tab is due.

According to internal Pentagon emails obtained by Reuters, the Department of Defense is exploring several options for dealing with our so-called allies who couldn’t be bothered to offer overflight permissions, base access, or naval support while American pilots were getting shot down over the Strait of Hormuz. Spain is at the top of the naughty list. The Pentagon is literally exploring whether to boot them from NATO like a deadbeat roommate who hasn’t paid rent in six months.

But wait — it gets better.

The Pentagon is also “reassessing” whether the United States should continue backing Britain’s claim to the Falkland Islands. For those of you who don’t remember your 1982 history, Britain fought a whole war over those islands off the coast of Argentina. They’ve been counting on American diplomatic support ever since. Well, turns out diplomatic support is a two-way street, and the Brits just found out what happens when you leave your biggest ally hanging.

(Imagine being a British diplomat and finding out your Falkland Islands guarantee might get yanked because you wouldn’t let American planes use your airspace. That’s what we call “consequences.”)

Here’s what happened. When things got hot with Iran and the U.S. needed to open the Strait of Hormuz and get naval support from our NATO partners — you know, the ones who’ve been enjoying American military protection for the last 75 years — most of Europe suddenly developed a case of diplomatic laryngitis. Couldn’t take our calls. Couldn’t approve overflight requests. Couldn’t spare a single ship.

But they sure can spare the phone minutes to call Washington when THEY need something.

President Trump has been absolutely direct about this, suggesting the U.S. might just withdraw from NATO entirely if our allies don’t start pulling their weight. And honestly? Most of us are wondering why we didn’t do this 20 years ago. We’ve been spending trillions defending countries that won’t even let our planes fly over their territory when Americans are in danger.

Now, some NATO bureaucrat told the BBC that the alliance’s founding treaty contains “no provision” for suspending or expelling members. Oh, there’s no provision? That’s adorable. There’s also no provision that says the United States has to keep writing checks to defend countries that stab us in the back. Funny how that works.

The Pentagon is also looking at suspending “difficult” countries from key NATO positions. So Spain might not get kicked out tomorrow, but they could find themselves sitting at the kids’ table at the next NATO summit while the grownups — the ones who actually showed up when it mattered — make the decisions.

Let’s talk about what this really means for regular Americans, especially those of you watching your retirement savings and wondering why your tax dollars are being shipped overseas. The United States spends more on NATO defense than the next 10 member countries COMBINED. We station troops across Europe. We provide the intelligence. We provide the aircraft carriers. We provide the nuclear umbrella. And when we needed a little help — not troops on the ground, just permission to fly over their countries — they hid under the bed.

Trump is doing what every American president should have done decades ago: treating our alliances like a business relationship instead of a charity. You want American protection? Great. Then when America needs your runway, your port, or your vote at the UN, you better pick up the phone on the first ring.

Spain, Britain, and the rest of the NATO bench-warmers are learning a lesson that every retiree who’s ever dealt with a bad financial adviser already knows — loyalty is a two-way street, and the bill always comes due eventually.

The Pentagon emails are still circulating, the plans are still being drawn up, and our “allies” are reportedly scrambling behind the scenes to patch things up. Too late. Trump’s team isn’t interested in apologies. They want commitments — in writing, with teeth.

Welcome to the new NATO. Either you’re in, or you’re out. And Spain? Start packing.